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Arthur’s Theme

March 25, 2012

Chris:   Mission to the Moon.  That was cool right away.

Commander Amanda Shepard:  First things first. After the Asari scientist came aboard…

Chris: (interrupting)  Her name is Liara T’soni.

CAS: (gives Chris a look) We made path for Citadel to wrap up the Sharjila mission.

Chris: This is the conclusion to the Asari slavers mission, but we’ve already talked about the ending.    What we haven’t talked about is how I thought the end of the  mission was going to an indicment against the entire Asari species.   We even marched back up the steps of the Citadel proper.   I didn’t realized it was really just a small, isolated incident.    I was ready for us to start throwing wild accusations at the council.

Golly gee wiz, I'm 100 years old and still dumb.

CAS:  You don’t like the Asari.   How is that not racist?

Chris:  Oh please, the Asari race is fine.   They have established political power.  They are all hot and blue.   They possess these ridiculously long lifespans.   It kinda got under my skin a little when Liara starting going off on how she so would give a century of her life to learn more about the Geth and the Protheans.   I just kept thinking, “Liara, shut up.   No one in this room is going to be alive in 100 years.  Just shut your mouth.”

CAS:  How can you be 100 years old and be so dumb?

Chris: (shakes his head)  That’s a great question.    Arrogant is the word I’d use.   Every single Asari we’ve spoken to has comes off in some flavor arrogant.   The consort on the Presidium was nice enough to us but only because she has the satisfaction of a station wide devotion to funnel into her ego.      Liara is here to learn and grow while the universe burns, everyone else has a stake.

Garus knows.  He started to wax philosophical about reincarnation and the wheel of life.      Wrex feels the burden of the Krogan genetic injury.    Tali’s Quarian  expedition into the universe demands personal  bravery and sacrifice.    Everyone feels the burden.

Tali: the lovechild of my childhood.

CAS:  Not everyone.

Chris:  Right.  I notice that we keep finding our way down to the engine room.   You know, just to make sure everything is going ok down there; check on Tali see how things went with the mission and what kinds of ice cream she likes.

CAS:  (opens mouth but tilts head in hesitation)…

Chris:  Don’t be shy, Commander.  I like Tali too.   I like her character very much but that’s not why you’re attracted to her.

CAS:  I’m not attracted to her.

Chris:  (rolls eyes and smiles)   Commander, this doesn’t fall under the rules of normal interpersonal attraction.  You can’t help but desire her.    It is literally this simple: The makers of Mass Effect took both Cobra Commander uniforms and they had a three way with the Baroness.    The Baroness got pregnant with Tali.   Switch the polarity (cowardly and covetous to brave and selfless).  Keep the Baroness’s hips and accent.  Viola’  Tali.

Honesty is tricky.

Perfection

She is literally wrapped in the Ambrosia of my childhood ideals, a supernatural icon utilizing  conscious and unconscious memes from my most treasured memories of art and metaphor.   How could you resist her?  I just thought you should know.  Honestly, if you hadn’t found your own reasons for liking her, it might not have worked out quite the same, but it’s pretty hard to dislike Tali’.

CAS: After leaving the Citadel, we set out to Luna.    The facility’s defenses were generally inadequate to create any real problems for us.

Chris:  And we took Tali with us to the moon.

CAS:  And Ashley Williams.

Chris:  Also, I noticed that you weren’t really too interested in the Earth.    Even at my mention of just a stop by, you balked pretty hard.

CAS:   There is nothing important on Earth to investigate.

Chris:    You don’t want to go back.

CAS:   You’re damn right I don’t want to go back.     Alright, everyone see the blue planet  on your left?   Great.  Now lets go find Saren.

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One Comment
  1. Yay love for Tali! Yay annoyance with Ashley!!!!

    Keep up the great exploration log!

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